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Laugh of the Day...

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Offline Susanne Reading The Rose Petal Beach by Dorothy Koomson
08 Dec 2011, 10:09 AM | Post: #11

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of senior citizens down a motorway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.

She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches. After about 15 minutes she taps him on the shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him yet another batch he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?

We can't chew them because we've no teeth,' she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them, then?'

The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. ~Chinese Proverb
Offline sujay Reading The Glass Guardian by Linda Gillard
08 Dec 2011, 10:13 AM | Post: #12

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

Smile Smile Smile
Only happy when I am immersed in a good Kindle book Thumbs Up
Offline tao
09 Dec 2011, 07:11 AM | Post: #13

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

There was a knock at the door in the early hours. The man went downstairs, opened the door and a voice says "will you give us a push mate?" The man was very angry and said what a ridiculous hour to be waking people up, slammed the door and went back upstairs.

When his wife asked who it was he said "Oh, some nutter wanting a push". The wife said he "should have give him a push, remember when we broke down and were very glad of some help".

So, reluctantly the man went back down stairs, opened the door and shouted "where are you?"

And a voice said back... "over here on the swings!"
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Offline tao
10 Dec 2011, 07:53 AM | Post: #14

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

A new teacher wanting to make use of the phsycology courses she'd been through stood in front of the class and said "now children if you think your stupid, stand up".

Nobody moved and then little Billy stood up.

"Do you think your stupid Billy?"

Billy replied, "No Miss Jones I just dont want to see you standing all by yourself".
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Offline sujay Reading The Glass Guardian by Linda Gillard
10 Dec 2011, 09:40 AM | Post: #15

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

Smile Smile Smile
Only happy when I am immersed in a good Kindle book Thumbs Up
Offline carryonvending Reading An Officer & a Spy - Robert Harris
10 Dec 2011, 06:33 PM | Post: #16

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

I was walking through my local market when I approached a stall and asked,
"Excuse me love, have you got any fruit?"
She looked at me confused for a second, "Oh!....let me guess, is that because I've got a nice pair on me?!" she said winking.

"No", I said, "It's because your McDonald's diet clearly isn't working"
You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water.
If it sinks: girl ant
If it floats: boy ant
Offline carryonvending Reading An Officer & a Spy - Robert Harris
10 Dec 2011, 06:35 PM | Post: #17

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank, give a man a bank and he can rob the world.
You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water.
If it sinks: girl ant
If it floats: boy ant
Offline LorraineArndell Reading The Mutilation Machination By Shaun Jeffrey
10 Dec 2011, 06:58 PM | Post: #18

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

Thanks for the laughs guys ♥
Offline carryonvending Reading An Officer & a Spy - Robert Harris
10 Dec 2011, 08:39 PM | Post: #19

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

BBC News......Thousands protest in Russia as next years election results are stolen from the Kremlin....
You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water.
If it sinks: girl ant
If it floats: boy ant
Offline carryonvending Reading An Officer & a Spy - Robert Harris
10 Dec 2011, 08:40 PM | Post: #20

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RE: Laugh of the Day...

This post was last modified: 10 Dec 2011 08:40 PM by carryonvending.
I had the weirdest shit ever earlier, at first it was just like normal, then within a few minutes it just randomly became runny, next thing i knew it was back to normal again.

I think i'm Bi-poolar.
You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water.
If it sinks: girl ant
If it floats: boy ant

Currently Reading:The Rose Petal Beach by Dorothy Koomson Last Book I Read:The Summer Son by Craig Lancaster Favourite Genres:contemporary fiction, literary fiction, crime/thriller,Favourite eBooks:
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Currently Reading:The Glass Guardian by Linda Gillard Last Book I Read:To the Grave by Steve Robinson Favourite Genres:I don't mind, as long as it's good!Favourite eBooks:
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Currently Reading:An Officer & a Spy - Robert Harris Last Book I Read:Heart Of Darkness - Joseph Conrad Favourite Genres:Thrillers & SciFi
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